Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize