take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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