We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
