I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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