David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
