after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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