would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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