I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize