And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize