In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize