At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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