I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
