Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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