It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
