Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
