it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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