it was like eating out sand paper
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
