I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
