I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
