I think my vagina is haunted
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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