u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
