dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
