found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
