Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
