BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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