i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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