i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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