There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize