Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
