Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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