but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Even my vagina gasped.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Two words: nipple clamps
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