nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
