Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
