so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
