if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
