And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
