You're so nebulous sometimes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
