And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
