You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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