another moral hangover. fuck.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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