youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
