Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love having hate sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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