Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
