Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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