My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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