I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
