I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
