im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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