I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You dont lie about slip and slides
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
