I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
