You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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