ugly people sure do ruin things
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
