Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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