I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize