On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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