How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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