All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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