Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
