the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
