he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
