The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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