If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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