Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
