I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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