I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
