So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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