Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
where does the pee come out of this thing
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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